#cmc chaewon lee

[natasha-in-space]

Happy pride month to the most disastrous lesbian I know

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Sparkly Rika and Chaewon!

Also I got too lazy for a proper background so I just put them on the mobile dating-sim bg lmao

In another life, where nothing ever goes wrong and those two are just cute, sappy girlfriends living out their best lives...

[natasha-in-space]

They are watching The Jalapeno Topping Was Pretty Spicy (Chaewon is not impressed)

[natasha-in-space]

Chain of Memories

Series: A Wilted Daffodil (AO3 link): Ch.1, Ch. 2 (you are here!);

Characters/pairing: Rika/cmc Chaewon Lee, Yoosung;

Chapter summary: After Sally's passing, Chaewon discovers more about Rika's past and finds something in common with her lively younger cousin. A shared discussion about an old photo turns into a recounting of the first meeting that transformed her life.

Credits: picrew by plzdoctorwho, dividers by @/saradika-graphics.

Two weeks have passed since Sally's unfortunate passing. Things were feeling... bleak, to say the least. Chaewon was subjected to a lengthy disciplinary lecture the morning after leaving her nursing post without any care in the world. For the first time in a while, she didn't have a single thing to say in rebuttal, she just listened with her head hung low. After all, she really did act selfish and dangerously irresponsible, there was no doubt about it. She was aware of that. But did she really care? No, not at all. She just felt embarrassed over making a reckless fool out of herself in front of her colleagues like that. She had no desire for any annoying gossip to follow her around, that's for sure. However, she was willing to apologize and accept any disciplinary action that would be taken against her. She was lucky enough to still have her job intact after causing such a huge mess. She wasn't about to start a ruckus over her ego getting hurt.

She would go to Jihyun's place once or twice per week to check on Rika and give her some help, even if it was awkward and clumsy.

It was impossible for Chaewon to stay away. Since this tragedy occurred, Rika hasn't been communicating with her as much as she used to, and she couldn't really hold her friend responsible for that. Aside from a couple of short messages every few days, Rika wouldn't talk much. To anyone, really, not just Chaewon. It was a huge source of worry for her. Even in person, it felt like Rika had all her life sucked out of her: her green eyes were dull and grief-stricken as she would look downwards, not even meeting her gaze once as they talked. Or, more accurately, as Chaewon would go through awkward one-sided monologs, since Rika would barely respond or even listen to anything being said to her, it seemed. It hurt to see her friend so overcome with her own grief like that, and being unable to do anything to ease her sorrow at least a little bit. It seemed like Rika was not fully present, occupied with her own thoughts. Chaewon's doubts about the positivity of those thoughts worried her greatly.

She felt that Jihyun was experiencing some of Rika's pain as well. She felt like he was sharing her hopelessness, but she also noticed a tense anxious aura around him lately: his hands nervously wriggling together and his mint locks looking more messy than they normally did, giving him an unusually disheveled appearance. She could have sworn there were some bags under his eyes as well.

Chaewon was unable to bring it up with him due to her lack of mental fortitude. In addition, he had Jumin to take care of that.

She let out a heavy sigh as she sorted through the many school books stacked on this one shelf, far too small for such a large number of things to be efficiently stored on it. It was an annoying task: finding a specific pair of notes in such a cramped mess. Honestly, this reminded her of her own university days, and how disorganized it felt to step foot into her dorm room. Then again, that was probably just the result of her messy nature, her room was always a completely chaotic mess.

Rika would always pester her about that...

Chaewon wiped that memory away with a single sigh.

She didn't have a plan for the weekend to help Yoosung with his midterms in school, but she was desperate for a distraction from all the doom and gloom that has been happening lately. As his graduation approached, he was as determined as ever to receive good grades and be accepted into a prestigious university. Thanks to Rika's support and motivation, no doubt. While she wouldn't say that she and Rika's younger cousin were friends per se, they were on good enough terms to keep in contact with one another casually. The boy didn't seem to share that sentiment, however, as he would frequently address her as a friend of his, making it easy for her to get the gist.

Perhaps she was not good at making friends. A trait that is not good for a woman in her late 20s. Before Chaewon could get any further into the self-deprecating jokes, though, she finally managed to pinpoint the much-needed biology worksheets, stashed crudely in between a few other textbooks in the corner.

This shelf was a mess, dear God.

"Ugh, finally... Hey, I think I found the-" 

She paused as a couple of photos fell off the cramped shelf and landed on the floor of the apartment. Thankfully, it looked like nothing else was planning on falling down from there. For now. She definitely had no desire whatsoever to clean up a potential mess of school books and paperwork. With an annoyed click of her tongue, she promptly kneeled down to pick up the fallen photos, inadvertently glancing over their contents. This made her stop, though, and a thoughtful look crossed her face. These seemed to be photos of Yoosung and Rika together... a few years back, maybe? She would guess these were taken at some charity event... or volunteer center. Her heart ached to see the bright smiles on both cousins' faces, particularly Rika's.

But... was that smile of hers truly as genuine and bright as it looked in these photos? 

...What a strange thought. 

"-What's up? Did you find them?"

Chaewon was awakened from her momentary trance by the young man's voice, and she quickly realized that she was still in her crouching position, completely absorbed by the two photos that were in her hands. She quickly shook her head, getting back up and dusting herself off, before handing over her findings to Yoosung: "When was this? You look pretty young."

Since she was unable to concentrate on schoolwork, she decided to ask.

Yoosung's eyes widened slightly as he gazed at the two photos, recognition flashing on his face. With a wistful look in his eyes, he took the pictures from her. These must have brought up some memories for him: "Oh... This is... From middle school, I think. Back when I was just getting to know Rika."

"Wait- Middle school? I thought you two knew each other from early on. Aren't you two family?" Chaewon raised her eyebrows in puzzlement as she heard that. Yoosung and Rika's closeness led her to assume they had grown up together as cousins. Of course, she did know that Yoosung and Rika weren't related by blood, but... still, it felt confusing to hear this new information. 

Yoosung shook his head, sat down on his bed, and patted down the area next to him, inviting her to sit down as well. With a newfound interest, she accepted and looked down at the photo he was holding in his hands.

"No, I first met her when I was in 6th grade, actually. At a family diner."

"Huh. Didn’t expect that," Chaewon made a deadpan comment, shaking her head a little.

Yoosung laughed and nodded at her reaction before continuing: "Would you believe me if I told you that I went to her only because I needed to fulfill my school's volunteering requirements? My mom kind of forced me into meeting her, to be completely honest with you."

Chaewon was left in shock as her mouth fell open. This was significantly different than what she had anticipated. With the way Yoosung admired his cousin, she had a hard time picturing him being reluctant to spend time with her at all: "No way."

"Surprising, isn't it?" he laughed, once again nodding in understanding at her baffled reaction. His smile became more wistful as he looked at the photo in his hand and traced a delicate finger over it, "I was in it solely for the volunteering requirements at first... But, she made me see it in a completely different way. I always viewed it all as a pointless waste of time pushed on us students by the school board, but... she made me feel proud of myself, for the first time in a while. Like what I did had meaning."

Chaewon swallowed with a familiar sensation in her chest. The butterflies were both determined and cruel, scratching her ribcage with their wings and demanding freedom. She pushed it all down, as she always did: "...I know how that feels."

"You know, you never told me of how you and Rika first met either. I know you two met in the hospital you worked in, but... Now I'm curious to hear the full story!" the young man chirped, looking up at her expectingly. Yoosung frequently reminded her of her younger brother. She sighed, running a hand through her dark locks absentmindedly. She usually wasn't one for sharing bits of her personal life like this, but... He did just tell her what she wanted to know. The only thing she could do was to repay the favor.

Her shoulders were squared: "Alright, fair enough. It was... untraditional, to say the least."

Sipping on her mediocre cup of coffee, Chaewon sat at her brand new nursing post, taking in the surroundings of the hospital that had become her new home. It definitely felt like that because of the ungodly hours she was assigned to work for the next week or so. Then again, maybe she was being a bit too harsh and spoiled, but she couldn't help how she felt. At least her parents were proud of her for snatching a stable and well-paying job... But, unfortunately, that's where the pros would end.

She had no reason to complain since she was the one who decided to pursue this career path out of resignation. At the very least, this hospital had a gym that was quite usable. She hoped she'd be able to get some exercise done in between her duties. That would help keep her mind off all this self-pity crap.

Chaewon heaved a deep breath and took another sip, relishing in the bitterness the coffee created as it raced down her throat. It was not recommended to drink on the job, so lukewarm coffee from the nearest break room would suffice. Although she would have really liked to go for some whiskey right about now. While she was not much of a drinker usually, sometimes it's the only way to feel a little bit better. It's the only way to sooth the negative thoughts that would constantly swirl around her head.

If you ask her, she would say that she thinks it's pretty pathetic.

Chaewon was aware that it was merely causing a distraction. It wasn't much of a solution. Truth was, she was simply too uninterested to take any action in her situation. So, temporary distractions would have to do for now.

She was pondering whether or not to hide in the break room when she felt the air change. The small breeze that always followed the opening of the door into the hall was probably the cause. She could see a small group of visitors further down the hall, steadily approaching the nursing post. Probably loved ones of the patients on this floor... And, it looked like some of them have already forgotten to leave their coats back in the checking room. Or didn't care about following the guidelines. Great.

Chaewon surveyed the small group of people, quickly taking note of their mood and appearance, while licking her lips. It wasn't hard to do. It's important to mentally prepare for a social interaction before engaging in it.

Until she noticed a woman with long, blond hair, staring back at her with piercing green eyes that were so hard to look away from.

The world around Chaewon seemed to fade away as the young woman's appearance took her breath away. The thoughts that had been swirling around in her head for hours now seemed a hundred light years away...

Oh gosh, she's staring, isn't she? This was definitely not looking good. Shaking off the momentary daze, she quickly redirected her gaze to the first thing that caught her attention at her desk, which were some reports she have been procrastinating on for a few hours now.

Chaewon was not unfamiliar with sudden feelings of attraction right from the spot, but she would rather not engage in them currently. It wouldn't be a good idea to get distracted by a pretty stranger on her first day at work.

That girl was definitely breathtaking, there was no doubt about it. The window's light framed her gorgeous golden locks in such a way that it almost looked like they were glowing, making it hard to resist feeling drawn to her. But there also seemed to be a bit of something else to her. Something she couldn't quite put her finger on. That beautiful stranger was intriguing and her looks certainly got her spine tingling, but more than that, she found herself wanting to get to know her… Maybe, just as a friend.

-And such a thought was alarming. 

Chaewon tolerated physical attraction. The whole: 'sleeping with a pretty woman just to get it out of your system' thing. She was content to let some of the women in her life go without as much as knowing their names, even though it was uncommon for such a thing to happen. Because learning someone's name meant asking to learn about them as a person, and asking about them as a person meant getting emotionally involved, and she had no interest in that for any reason whatsoever. Not with her life currently being in a complete mess.

She ignored everything and then let everything else return to her at once. The hospital lights, the distant chatter of visitors, and the bitter taste of coffee on her tongue made her feel as if she was being assaulted by something unpleasant once again. Despite only being thirty seconds long, the brief encounter between her and the mysterious woman felt much longer.

Thankfully, one of her coworkers sat next to her just as Chaewon was about to have a small mental crisis. Before she did something stupid, it was a perfect opportunity to escape. She stood up abruptly, grabbed her half-empty coffee cup, and sweeped by before she could be stopped. 

"-I need to go to the break room. It's urgent."

Lying was a breeze for her, almost embarrassingly so. Her colleague's protests were ignored as she hurriedly walked through the corridor, her eye cast low. She needed to clear her head.

However, she maybe should have paid better attention to her surroundings - a fact Chaewon quickly got reminded of once she felt herself bumping into something. Or, rather, a person. Someone who had an unfailingly cute sounding gasp and a perfume that was sickeningly sweet.

"Oh-!"

She acted on her instinct, quickly stabilizing the shorter stranger by their shoulders, with her eyes widening upon seeing the rich green color that had taken her breath moments earlier. And an ugly blotch of black slowly forming on the woman's light dress.

...Did she seriously just spill coffee on the very same girl she got interested in, almost knocking the poor thing over her in the process? Chaewon struggled to decide whether to laugh or cry.

"Shit- I am so sorry! Are you alright, miss...?" Awkward apologies quickly tumbled out of her mouth, her hands shaking a little as she felt her heart start to race. She was embarrassed by the mortifying circumstances and her attraction to this stranger. It was advantageous that her coffee was only lukewarm, as it prevented her from burning the woman. Only ruining her dress. Just slightly less humiliating.

The stranger laughed, taking a few steps back as she looked down at her now stained dress, waving off Chaewon's nervous chatter with a polite smile. She actually had a more subdued reaction than she expected: "Ah... No, please, don't worry! I'm alright. It's my fault for being too absentmind, anyways."

The kind-hearted response caused her to blink in astonishment. This girl had every right to get upset, or angry with her, and she just... took the blame instead? A part of her desired to scold this stranger for being so risky in her act of altruism. Of course, she bit her tongue at such a thought. Instead, she shook her head, taking a step forward: "I'm a nurse. It's my responsibility to be aware of my surroundings and be mindful of everyone's safety in this hospital. I could have seriously hurt you, and that isn't right. Please, let me make it up to you. At least let me buy you something at the cafeteria."

Wait, what the hell did she just say...?

"Uh... Would that be alright for you to do on a job though?"

It's obvious that it would not. Chaewon could already hear her colleagues giving her a piece of their mind when she would return to her post. As she rightfully deserves.

"-I was just about to go on a break, actually. Please, it's the least I could do."

Over a cup of coffee, she became engrossed in a long conversation with this charming stranger. She wasn't gulping down a cheap cupboard-like parody she spilled minutes ago, but a proper and rich drink that made your belly buzz with a pleasant warmth. Was she just trying to impress her new acquaintance? Maybe. Either way, she felt genuine remorse for knocking her down so unceremoniously, so treating her to a tasty drink and some dessert was the least she could do.

Rika, which Chaewon learned was the young woman's name, turned out to be a sweet and somewhat witty individual. Though, she experienced moments where she felt like her new acquaintance was holding back. On what, she wasn't sure entirely, nor was she one to pry. She could only guess this from the rather distant glint in her eyes that would appear from time to time. Rika was good at conversing as well, quickly impressing her with her vast knowledge of a whole lot of different subjects. She tolerated Rika's refusal to discuss her reason for being at this hospital. It wasn't her business, after all. But, it did make her chest ache a bit to wonder whether or not the subject was perhaps a painful one. Rika seemed like such a lovely and kindhearted person... far too good to have to go through something like grief and loss.

She quickly became attached to this new stranger. She found herself effortlessly sharing her frustrations with her current situation with this person who was still stranger to her.

"So, you don't find what you do in life fulfilling... Yet, I can see that you have a passionate heart. It's like there is a fire burning in your eyes, no matter how much you try to turn your back on it. There is something you want to do, isn't there?" Rika's voice was warm and inviting. Her words were thought-provoking, even though they may have seemed strange. It was like she could see things not even Chaewon herself was aware of, and such a thought made her breath hitch.

It was both frightening and enticing.

Looking down, her brows furrowed a bit: "...Perhaps there is. But, it's not a path I can follow anymore. I have to make do with what I have."

"You are a loyal person. I admire that," as Rika hummed, her golden locks fell over her shoulder, making them look as if they were lit by sunlight streaming through the window. It was difficult not to stare, "Perhaps, you feel like you lack purpose because you don't think that your actions have any effect on those around you. You feel like you lack any worth to the world, so you decide to condemn your own passion instead. So it doesn't hurt as much when others take away that choice for you."

"That... sounds kind of complicated."

Rika laughs and nods in agreement. As she elaborates on her thoughts, her finger delicately traces the brims of her cup: "All our pain and suffering arises from the fear of not being loved. And all of our happiness comes from us being recognized in the eyes of others, being loved and perceived by others as we truly are. So, when we find ourselves stuck in a situation where our heart longs to be recognized, yet our circumstances keep us isolated... It becomes painful."

"Well, I wouldn't say I am unloved... My family loves me, I have a few friends I can go out for drinks with on weekends, and I don't have to worry about money. Many have it far worse than me. I'm just... whining about not liking my pretty prestigious and well-paying job is all," Chaewon was pondering while sipping her coffee. The way Rika was talking was... unusual. Intriguing. Her mind was brimming with thoughts and questions that she had never contemplated before.

"But, does your soul feel like it is loved?"

Her reply is limited to silently staring at her own reflection on the cafeteria table. The answer came to her mind immediately, but she couldn't express it. Instead, she said something else that was on her mind as well.

"...Does yours?"

As Chaewon raised her eyes back up at Rika's face, she saw a look of surprise flickering over her soft features, and her hand frozen where it had been tapping against the coffee cup moments earlier. In a strange moment of uncertainty, they were both silent and staring at one another. The quiet sound of Rika's phone buzzing shook up this brief interaction, prompting her to stand up and gather her things. She suddenly felt her warm hand pressing against her shoulder.

"Well, it was lovely getting to meet you, Chaewon. You are a very passionate person with a devoted heart, even if you don’t think so. I wish you'll find what your soul is truly searching for one day."

She followed Rika's footsteps out of the cafeteria before she realized it.  

"W-wait... Rika!" Chaewon called out to her, making Rika stop right at the door as she turned to face her, her eyes wide with surprise. Oddly enough, she didn't feel all that embarrassed about making a fuss. She just sped up her pace until she was a step away from her. Once again, acting on impulse alone, she placed her hand on Rika's shoulder and squeezes just slightly, repeating the same action that she just did to her herself.

"Listen... I don't know you, and you don't know me. But, I... I had a really good time talking with you today, despite how... inconvenient our first encounter turned out. Point is... you are very intriguing, and now I want to get to know you better. All we did was talk about me the whole time, and... I'd like to repay the favor one day. If... If you'd allow me," she mumbled to Rika, the words rushing out of her mouth on a whim. She never prompted for a second meeting with someone herself before... but, the idea of never seeing her again was, honestly, quite daunting. Her goal was to learn more and gain a deeper understanding of her inner world, even if it was only for a short time.

So, Chaewon took a risk.

She saw Rika search her face briefly - she was unsure of what she was seeking, but she held her gaze steady, planted her feet on the ground, and refused to give up. Then, Rika smiled and placed her soft hand on her upper arm, sending her heart fluttering.

"...You shouldn't want to get to know more about me, Chaewon. But, I admit, you... intrigue me, too. I would love for a chance a chance to see you again. How about I give you my number instead?"

"-I'd like that very much."

[natasha-in-space]

[ She moves through moonbeams slowly

She knows just how to hold me

And when her edges soften

Her body is my coffin ]

Sometimes I wonder how Chaewon has to look back on all of her choices that led her to her current path. Isn't it ironic how the same hands that used to heal and soothe, now are bruised and caked with blood? I feel like it'll hit her especially hard after a particularly rough cleansing ceremony she has to officiate. What would her past self think, if she knew this is how she would end up? Anyways, Love Me Dead by Ludo is such a Chaewon song.

Used ref. by KGA Art Class

[natasha-in-space]

Next in line for my March collection is none other than Chaewon! (Used ref. by @mellon_soup on Tiktok) Who would've thought, I finally drew up her full Mint Eye look that she is usually seen in. Here are some neat trivia facts about her:

• Chaewon is actually the one who first suggested for Ray to bleach his hair. She even did it for him the first time it happened after his initiation ceremony. They share the same feelings of alienation from their past selves, but, while for Ray it's a feeling of deep pain and betrayal, for Chaewon, it's the feeling of guilt.

• Only the Mint Eye version of her wears an eye-patch over her eye. She wears it to cover up her brown-colored prosthetic, as, once again, it's a reminder of her past self. But she refuses to get rid of it, or to change it to a mint one, despite Rika offering to do so for her. Much like she does not get rid of her family's nicknacks stashed away in her bedside table.

• Formal attire is one of the main set of rules in my interpretation of Mint Eye. That's the reason why Chaewon is usually depicted in a suit. She doesn't actually like wearing them all that much. That said, if she is to take care of a dirty job, she'll probably change up into something more comfortable. And less expensive to burn later.

• Despite her being a bit of a boogeyman figure among the newbies due to her high rank and intimidating duties, she actually has a close circle of believers you could call her friends. While Ray keeps to himself and is rather alienated from the rest of Magenta's inhabitants, Chaewon is way more down to earth, unless you have actually done something wrong. That said, the newbies have a very good reason to be intimidated. She is not Rika's personal bodyguard for nothing.

[natasha-in-space]

Picrew link

Rika/cmc Chaewon Lee

A vignette I wrote on a whim after playing around in Picrew! Basically the aftermath of Ray's and Natasha's (Saeran's MC) escape from Mint Eye. Rika doesn't take it too well. Chaewon offers comfort. Do they come to a healthy and reasonable resolution? Of course not :)

Exhaustion weighed heavily upon Chaewon's shoulders as her legs carried her up the many winding stairs to the top floor of Magenta, many thoughts plaguing her mind. Things have been a mess in the last week. That cursed traitor showing up out of the blue, Natasha's apparent betrayal that she always knew was brewing somewhere under the surface, and now... Ray's completely unforseen escape, to top it all off.

She expected Natasha to turn tail the moment the opportunity arose, but Ray? Chaewon wouldn't admit it, but even she felt somewhat betrayed by his rather selfish decision to leave them all behind like that. Guess a pretty girl was all it took for him to abandon the same people who cared and protected him for these past few years.

He left Magenta completely defenseless. Didn't even have the courage to face the Savior head-on before disappearing. Just left in the middle of the night with that joke of an assistant of his.

...They should have never let him keep her.

While wandering through the hallway, Chaewon saw the open door to Rika's chambers. Rika's voice caused her to pause and her eye widened as she heard the obvious distress in her voice, muffled sniffs and sobs reaching her ears through the door. She immediately felt a sense of concern, and she frowned slightly as she paused in the doorway.

"Rika?" as she entered the chambers without invitation, she whispered softly and closed the door behind her. Only she was allowed to come and go as she pleased. Not to mention call her by her name. She preferred not to do that, usually, but... Right now, it just felt right. The state Rika was in caused her eyes to widen. There she was, her small form curled up on her bed, her head tucked away into her knees. A sight not befitting of a Savior that the believers were made to love and adore. But a sight she knew too well, "Are you alright? I've ordered our Security Unit to replace Ray in the meantime, but it's... challenging."

Rika was seemingly so focused on her internal conflicts and negative thoughts that she didn't even realize the door was opening behind her. Another worrying sign that Chaewon did not like to see. When she heard her bodyguard's soft voice, she raised her head quickly. As she looked at her, her expression grew more depressed and she closed her eyes.

"...No, I'm not... I'm not okay," she murmured while lowering her head and placing her hands on her face.

As Chaewon heard Rika's words, her frown deepened, and the sight of her with her head down made her chest ache. She moved closer until she was in front of her bed and crouched down, gently grasping Rika's wrists and carefully removing her hands from her face.

"Hey, look at me," her tone was soft and full of concern, accompanied by gentle words. So very different from the firm and cold voice she would use with everyone else. Much like Rika would only let her see her like this, Rika was the only one who would bring out that caring side of her that was seemingly long gone by this point. They both knew sides of each other no one else was allowed to see. She kept holding Rika's wrists as she waited for her to look down at her.

As if the soft voice and gesture had a strange influence on her, Rika slowly raised her head to look at Chaewon who was kneeling at her bedside, like a loyal knight would for the one they've sworn to serve. Her eyes were slightly red, giving her an expression of being at her limit.

It was just as unusual to see her with a soft and vulnerable gaze. Rika Kim, the one who was leading Mint Eye into the eternal paradise, now felt so lost and alone...

How pathetic, is what she probably thought.

The state that Rika was in caused Chaewon's breath to hitch. Rika's eyes caught her gaze, making her chest ache and heart skip a beat. At that moment, all she wanted was to wrap the woman sitting in front of her in her arms and hold her close, but she had to resist the sudden urge. She exhaled, gently squeezing Rika's wrists.

"Come here," her voice was quiet and soft as she spoke faintly. Without waiting for a response, she leaned up and pulled Rika into her arms, holding her tightly.

Rika was clearly taken by surprise when she suddenly found herself in Chaewon's embrace, but she didn't put up any resistance. Be it by her genuine desire, or her desperate need for comfort, she couldn't help but lean into her, letting her emotions carry her weight. She was so tiny like this. Especially next to Chaewon who could rival V in height, the broadness of her stature carrying with itself a rather intimidating appearance. A stark contrast to Rika's smaller and softer figure. However, in reality, Chaewon was never the one in control. Rika hid her face in her chest, her body trembled slightly and tears began to fall down her cheeks again.

"Ray was right to choose her over me. I'm a monster..." she whispered as she sobbed.

"No, you're not," Chaewon responded immediately, her voice firm but soft, as she held Rika close to her. Her heart broke when she saw her like this and heard how Rika thought of herself. Rika was held tight by her arm, while the other one gently rubbed her back in a comforting manner, "You're not a monster, Rika."

Her chin rested on top of Rika's head as she gently repeated herself.

Chaewon's shirt was stained by tears that continued to run down Rika's cheeks. It's like she tried to escape her inner torment by pressing herself against her bodyguard that was sworn to protect her. The sobs continued to escape her mouth, causing her body to tremble slightly. In one smooth movement, Chaewon laid them both down onto the soft covers, with them now laying on their sides, facing each other.

"Yes, I am..." Rika whispered softly. For once, her guilt and remorse were like a heavy burden on her shoulders, and she couldn't shake off the feeling of being a bad person she always knew she was. She was consumed by her own self-destructive thoughts, believing that she deserved all the suffering she was currently experiencing.

But she was a weak willed person. Not at all like Ray or Natasha. She was still scared of the pain, of the loneliness, of being left behind. She couldn't accept her mistakes. Not fully.

Accepting them meant facing every single thing she had done wrong in all the years of her life.

And that was terrifying.

Rika's tears were making Chaewon's shirt fully wet now, but she didn't care. She only cared about providing Rika with the comfort she needed at that moment. She remained close to her while slowly running her hand up and down her back in an effort to calm her.

"Stop it," she spoke with a gentle tone, her voice still a bit gruff, but soft. Hearing Rika talk about herself in that way was unbearable to her, "You're not a monster. You're a good person, Rika."

When Chaewon contradicted her, Rika felt a strange sense of comfort blooming in her chest ever so faintly. Her body was shaking in her arms while she buried her wet and tear-stained face in her bodyguard's chest.

"How can you say that so easily...?" she spoke in a shaky manner, "How can you say that... after everything... I've done...?"

Her sobs grew louder once more and she tightened her grip on her former friend's shirt.

Chaewon's heart skipped a beat. She hadn't heard Rika speak like that in years. Sure, she had her moments of vulnerability, and even breakdowns, but... This was no longer the Savior of Mint Eye, she realized. This was Rika just like she knew her prior to their new lives here in Magenta.

This was her friend just like she remembered her.

But this feeling was a bittersweet one, not a joyous one. Even Chaewon knew that they crossed a point of no return a long while ago. They both did so willingly. And they both now had sins to bear. Sins that Chaewon could not take away from Rika, even if she wanted to.

Still...

In an effort to comfort her, she allowed Rika to hold on to her shirt slightly tighter while still rubbing her back. Rika's words caused her heart to hurt as she replayed them in her head again.

"Because I know you," her voice was quiet and gentle as she replied softly. She slowly slid her hand up and gently ran her fingers through Rika's hair. She kept her close by leaning her chin on top of her head again, "I know you're a good person, Rika."

Rika felt like she was floating on air thanks to Chaewon's words and the soft touch of her hand through her hair. She felt less alone and isolated from the world when she was comforted in this way. She always did. Inhaling deeply, she tried to calm the sobs that still shook her body.

"Ray chose her over me. A girl he knew for less than a year. He chose to leave, to abandon me for... for her," her voice was broken and full of remorse, as she whispered. Though, there were clear hints of resentment seeping through there as well, "What did she whisper in those ears of his? What promises did she make? I-"

A silent pause followed.

"...It's my fault," in a way, Rika wasn't making any sense. Her tone switched from hurt and angry to remorseful in an instant. She couldn't even understand herself, "I shouldn't have punished her. That drove him away from me, didn't it...? He cared so much for her, of course he would see me as a heartless monster after I... after I did that to her."

Chaewon pulled back from their embrace, laying on her side as she gazed at Rika, her hand still running through her hair. Rika's voice was filled with sorrow and remorse, and it was painful to listen to her talk about herself like that. In an effort to comfort her, she pulled her closer and massaged her back in a soothing way.

"-But you've helped people, Rika. You saved so many lives," she spoke softly, her voice now growing a tad firmer. She wanted Rika to see all the good she had done, not just focus on the bad, "Ray and Saeran were just fine with you before she came along. I always knew she wasn't truly one of us. That little thing. Trembling in her shoes whenever her precious boss wasn't there to protect her."

Chaewon shook her head briefly, a slow steady breath leaving her lips. Her gaze hardened as it settled back on Rika.

That's right.

None of this was her fault.

Rika wouldn't have acted out in the first place, if it wasn't for Natasha.

It was all that girl's fault. Not Rika's.

"Ray is a gullible fool who still believes in his fairytales. It wouldn't be hard to fill his head with promises of a happy future," she muttered, her fingers still running through Rika's curls, twirling them around absentmindedly, "-And Saeran is far too impulsive for his own good. I should've put him in his place when he screamed at you last week. We weren't prudent enough, you and I. But it isn't our fault."

Rika was quiet as she stared back at her, her expression unreadable. Chaewon reached out to wipe her thumb under her eye, wiping the salty moisture off her delicate skin.

"...We will fix this. I will fix this. For you."

"You will...?" Rika murmured, sounding both hopeful and somehow doubtful.

Chaewon nodded: "I will. I promised you that I would stay by your side until you reach your dream. And I will abide by my promises to you. In whatever form it will take."

[natasha-in-space]

:･ﾟ✧:･. Mint Eye Idol festival doodles! :･ﾟ✧:･.

Looks like our Savior came up with a new event to gather more believers... Her eccentric mind never ceases to amaze. It's a good thing she has many trusted followers to help make her plan a dazzling reality. Let's take a look, shall we?

Or, in other words: me doodling cmc's just because it's fun :D

Natasha certainly never expected that becoming an idol would be part of her duty as Ray's assistant... Her life in Mint Eye gets more and more bizarre every day. But hey, she has an impressive talent for singing, and once she gets some much needed training, she has no problem charming potential believers with her radiant smile and beautiful voice. Although her stage presence still needs some work. Still, it helps to know that Ray is just as clueless as she is. It's somewhat fun to learn something new by his side!

And yes, I put her into Hatsune Miku's outfit. She loves Miku! Just embarrassed to admit it. It's a good thing their production and costume designer is a huge sweetheart.

Next up, we have the most skilled performer in the group! Hinata is the one responsible for training Ray and Natasha on their stage presence, as well as their dance routine. Apparently it's way harder than it looks, go figure! As someone who knows a thing or two about being an idol, she's the one in charge, which their Savior is more than pleased with. She knows that their idol festival is in good hands with Hinata taking the lead. Their recruitment mission is one of utmost importance, after all... Who would resist a sparkling idol taking your breath away on stage?

Meanwhile, Chaewon is in charge of security for the event. Since Ray will be performing on stage with Hinata and Natasha, his duties are temporarily handed over in her hands. While their Savior did suggest for her personal bodyguard to join the others on stage, it seems that she has no sense of rhythm whatsoever... much to her own embarrassment. She makes sure that everything goes smoothly and takes care of any... sleezy individuals lurking in the crowd.

And Lila did a wonderful job producing and planning the whole event. She's also the costume designer! It's thanks to her that everyone looks so dazzling on stage... Although, nobody expected for her to come up with such an unorthodox look for Mr. Ray. But, it works! Natasha seemed very charmed by his leather jacket in particular. And, to support Ray on his first ever performance on stage, she even created matching outfits for them! Ray may be nervous, but the entire room fades away once his eyes meet his precious tester in front of the crowd, cheering him on and looking up at him with stars in her eyes.

Hinata belongs to @rfaromance and Lila belongs to @marshmallowprotection

Natasha and Hinata were based off of my favorite Miku figurines: Hatsune Miku feat my little pony Bishoujo statue; Hatsune Miku: Symphony 2019 Ver.

Chaewon and Lila references by @CommiGtl on Twitter

[natasha-in-space]

"Ya know... I reckon, I know now. What... my favorite flower is. Do ya remember how I never gave ya a proper answer to that?" Chaewon murmured into the curly golden locks of the young woman pressed up tightly to her chest, her rough voice emanating with such foreign gentleness, she almost couldn't recognize herself. Oh, how she wished she could protect her dear friend from all the ugly and cruel things in this rotten world by simply holding onto her like this and letting her shed her tears freely into the thin fabric of her shirt.

"I reckon... I love wildflowers best of all. Ya know why, sunshine? They may be small 'n frail at first glance... But, they grow wherever they want to, scorchin' sun or whippin' winds be damned. They don't need anyone to fret over their every need. And no matter what anyone might try and do to put an end to their tiny blooms... their seeds will blow in the wind, findin' a new place to try again, leavin' something beautiful for us common folk to look at in the middle of the dry desert. 'Guess... I like wildflowers 'cause they remind me of you, Rika."

Some soft cowgirls for @marshmallowprotection 's wonderful cowboy au! Reading the first chapter of Rika's side story made me feel so utterly heartbroken for her... So, what better way to fix this than to give her a strong and tall cowgirl that is rough around the edges but secretly has a heart of gold? I always wanted to put Chaewon into the cowboy universe, but since we had so little info on Rika's backstory 'till now, it was difficult for me to do. Which is why I'm so excited to read this new story!

It's going to be painful to imagine how their fleeting romance will have to come to its inevitable and tragic end... But, that doesn't mean that what they shared between themselves did not make a difference to these two lost wildflowers in the middle of this hot and sandy town.

Make sure to go ahead and check out Wildflowers, it's really amazing and will definitely take your breath away with its play on our mysterious and complicated Rika Kim!

[natasha-in-space]

Cmc info sheet p.2: Chaewon Lee

Additional info:

Home country: South Korea;

Gender identity/preferred pronouns: demigirl, she/they;

Sexual orientation: Lesbian;

Occupation: Second in command of Magenta's Monitoring unit, Rika's private bodyguard. Used to work as a registered nurse before being recruited into Mint Eye.

Physical appearance: Probably the first thing you'll notice about Chaewon is her height and exceptionally athletic build. She is no stranger to getting some side looks from other passerbys simply because of how tall and broad shouldered she is. You may not notice just how muscular she really is at first, but she'll gladly use that to her advantage to flip you onto your back with practiced ease. Chaewon adores proving others wrong, especially if they make a point of disrespecting her or threatening the safety of Magenta in any way. She works hard day and night to keep her physical form as agile and sturdy as she possible can. After all, her job is just too important for her to mess up. It's one thing to displace some papers or send a wrong line of code, but it's completely another when someone you have to protect might get seriously hurt as a result of your failure.

Now, the next thing you'll take notice of is the way that her bangs cover one side of her face, effectively hiding her right eye beneath her bleached white hair. It's a bit of an odd fashion choice, considering just how important it is for her to always be completely aware of her surroundings. Still, her status rarely allows anyone to ask about this out loud, be it out of their respect for her or fear of being personally 'taken care of'. If she trusts you enough to let you get up close to her, you'll notice an outline of an eye patch under the white strands of hair. See, Chaewon is missing her right eye. She has a brown prosthetic eye hidden under the eye patch, but after being initiated into Mind Eye, she has decided to keep it safely hidden under an eye patch she wears today, growing out her bangs for further comfort. This is merely an aesthetic choice for her, as she does not like seeing that brown color contrasting so sharply with her other eye that has turned bright mint with time. She does not mention this much, but she's not ashamed of talking about it, contrary to popular belief between the believers. Once she gets out of Mint Eye and starts her recovery, she discards her eye patch entirely and cuts her bangs, making her brown prosthetic eye visible to everyone around once more. Her line of sight is limited due to her only using one eye, but it hardly creates any complications for her when it comes to close combat. She knows her strengths and weaknesses alike and works around them with impressive grace.

She also has a small visible scar on the right side of her cheek, but it's hard to see from afar because of her long bangs. Due to her dangerous line of work, it's a common occurrence to see Chaewon with bandages covering her skin here and there. They never bother her too much, and most of the times she doesn't even notice they're there till they get peeled off and cause a minor annoyance to her.

When it comes to her sense of style, well... She doesn't really care much for clothes. She will wear what she's given, and, as long as it's comfortable enough to not put any constraints on her movements, she will not complain. Usually, you'll see her walking down the hall in a sharp black suit, which she will occasionally change up with a pair of comfy jeans and a hoodie whenever she needs to get her hands dirty for a specific task. The only time she will ever bother to make herself look visually appealing, is whenever there is a party going on. On this special occasion, you might actually see her wearing an elegant black dress, standing loyally by her Savior's side and chatting with her about this and that. She takes her job very seriously, though, which means that she wants her dress to be as practical as possible, just in case she'll need to move fast, if some emergency suddenly occurs. Does this mean she carries a dagger on her thigh under her dress? That's a secret no one really knows...

Background: Chaewon comes from a close-knit family of four, consisting of her father, mother, and her little brother who's three years younger than her. Her childhood was spent in downtown Busan, where her family has built a cozy and spacious home for their kids to enjoy plenty of space for themselves. Her younger years were relatively happy, filled with countless joyful memories with both of her parents and her little brother. She has always been an active kid, preferring to run around outside and explore the woods, rather than stay at home and play with toys. Though, her love for origami comes from her brother - Doyun - who was the one that first taught her that passive activities can be pretty fun too. They had a small shared chest filled with all kinds of supplies with which they'd mess around for hours on end. Chaewon still keeps that chest in her personal belongings, often taking it out whenever she feels overwhelmed and needs something to ground herself with. Her family is a huge comfort to her up to this day, despite her affiliation with the Mint Eye.

Things kind of began going south for her around the time she first started school. She comes from an upper class family in terms of finances, which is how she found herself in a relatively prestigious private school. And while her grades kept her parents pretty happy with their daughter, she was not enjoying her time there whatsoever. The only times she felt like all this hard work was actually worth it, was during her weekly basketball practice. Chaewon fell in love with this sport, and it kept her sane throughout her school years. She even wanted to pursue a career in sports, but, after getting into a bad accident during one of her practices that has unfortunately cost Chaewon her right eye... her father heavily discouraged her from associating her life so closely with sports. So, she instead set her efforts on becoming a nurse. That was a career choice her little brother has made for himself after spending many hours by his sister's side during her recovery, and a part of her wanted to follow in his footsteps, so that she didn't have to be alone in the future, even if it meant waiting a couple of years for them to start studying together. Truth is, she was feeling unsure and lost after loosing her initial life goal in such a horrible way. Still, she put her all into her studies once she returned back to high school, and, after successfully getting her diploma, she got accepted into Seoul National University.

Her university years were relatively peaceful when compared to her overwhelming time in school. Once she started university, she found herself even somewhat enjoying her studies, although the pressure was as high as always. She still had her basketball practice to blow off some steam at the end of the day, despite what her father had said about her involving herself in sports. In addition, it was during her last year of university, when she first discovered her sexuality. Before she knew it, Chaewon found herself crushing head over heels on her basketball team's captain after winning a few intense matches by her side. Unfortunately, her first crush never really went anywhere due to her feeling extremely confused and taken aback by all these new feelings clouding her mind. It took her a whole year to process everything that happened and eventually come to accept this part of herself. The first person she came out to was her brother, who supported her unconditionally. Thankfully, her parents never put any pressure on her when it comes to dating, so she didn't need to deal with intrusive questions concerning her love life.

Chaewon has met Rika on the first day of her full time job as a registered nurse, quite literally bumping into her in the hall and making her drop a cup of coffee she was holding. As an apology, she insisted to pay for Rika's brunch in the cafeteria, and that's how their long lasted relationship slowly began to develop. Chaewon has never met anyone like Rika before. Someone so bright and yet, someone so thoughtful and mysterious. Rika's peculiar way of looking at life got her intrigued from the very first talk they shared at their brunch, and her good looks certainly caught her attention as well. Chaewon was the one who asked for Rika's number at the end of their 'date', awkwardly blurting it out without even thinking twice about it. Before she could apologize, though, Rika accepted her request, to her utter shock. They've become close friends over the year, sharing long and meaningful conversation over this and that through the phone. Though, Chaewon never really acted on her affections, since it wasn't long until she found out that the reason Rika has been visiting this specific hospital was in her childhood friend staying there in a very dangerous condition. It just didn't feel right for her to do that when her new friend was clearly going through a hard time.

Her indecisiveness is something she berates herself for up to this day. Since, maybe, just maybe, if she was a bit braver... Rika wouldn't have ended up with someone like V. Back then, she merely stood aside and supported her friend, brushing aside any weird thoughts and suspicions about the nature of their relationship. While Rika did not open up to her as much as she did to V about her inner struggles, she did tell her enough for Chaewon to know that her friend has suffered through a lot in her lifetime.

And who was she to go and take away such happiness from Rika? She may not understand her strange relationship with V... But, if she's happy, that's what matters, right?

Although Rika did offer for Chaewon to join the RFA, she refused, partly due to her busy work schedule at the hospital, and party due to her not being a very social person overall. Though, she did get to meet V, Jumin and Yoosung face to face, and while her interactions with Jumin and Yoosung were quite brief, her and V will go on to share a story of their own. Needles to say... She does not like V much. Her views are pretty biased in nature, especially once she becomes a part of Mint Eye. Chaewon blames V wholeheartedly for all the pain Rika has gone through, and she will do whatever it takes to keep them apart from each other, leading to many conflicts down the line.

Chaewon was one of the first members being recruited into Mint Eye, becoming a member even before Saeran. Her memories get pretty hazy when it comes to this particular time period of her life, as the elixir she had to take on the day of her initiation is a bit different in its contents from the one that believers take today. She doesn't remember how exactly it happened. All she knows is that she followed Rika, just like she always did from the moment they first met. And, if she was to be completely honest with herself... She never really believed into her friend's idea of eternal paradise. Her main reason for following along is quite simple: she didn't want Rika to bear such a heavy burden all alone. Chaewon has no idea that the core inspiration for Mint Eye was first planted into her friend's head by someone else, someone who only wanted to use her.

If she knew, she'd never make the choices she has made.

Chaewon was the one who took young Ray under her wing right after his initiation ceremony, making sure that he was following their Savior's orders loyaly and did not stray from their shared path to eternal happiness. Her relationship with Ray and Saeran is a warm, almost familial one that has eventually turned sour for all parties involved. In fact, she was the one that first suggested for him to dye his hair white, just as she once did, after she took notice of just how much of a hard time he was having with his appearance that resembled someone he hates with every fiber of his being. She looked after him and helped him grow accustomed to his new way of life, quickly forming a soft spot for their Savior's new right hand. However, this attachment did not last for long. See, Ray reminded her of her own little brother. Almost a bit too much at times, especially whenever he would suggest for them to visit Magenta's freshly started garden and talk about other things rather than work. The thought of returning home to your family is a forbidden one inside Magenta's walls... Especially if you're as close with the Savior as Chaewon is. So, to keep her priorities in check, she had to eventually distance herself from the young hacker, essentially putting a rift between them, as she never communicated about any of her issues.

She has dyed her black hair white, symbolizing a new rebirth for her as a believer of Mint Eye, and Rika's loyal follower. From then on, she kept to her now 'Savior's' side, keeping her safe from any danger coming her way and hoping that she'll get to see her smile happily one day.

Relationships:

Dislike (displays clear hostility towards them, will actively work against them and is not above using some very sharp words to get her point across): Jihyun, Saeyoung.

Indifference (prefers to keep her distance, occasional snarky remarks are a pretty regular thing): Natasha, Ray/Saeran/Unknown, Vanderwood.

Neutral (respects them, but will act pretty coldly in their company): Zen, Jaehee.

Friendly (shares a personal history with them or can relate to their personal struggles, will treat them quite warmly and welcoming): Jumin, Yoosung.

Romantic interest: Rika.

[natasha-in-space]

The Beginning of the End

Series: 'A Wilted Daffodil' (AO3 link): Ch. 1 (you are here!), Ch. 2;

Characters/pairing: Rika/cmc Chaewon Lee, Jihyun Kim;

Summary: Everyone experiences grief differently. The loss of a loved one can be both debilitating and overwhelming, leaving you with no idea how to continue living without them. Chaewon is familiar with the grieving process of families and loved ones. Unfortunately, working as a nurse comes with the responsibility of bearing witness to some very tragic events. But she never thought she would have to see her own dear friend crushed by a sudden loss nobody has ever seen coming.

CW for: pet loss, grief;

Credits: picrew by wagirain, dividers by @/saradika-graphics.

"-She got run over, Chaewon, she's dead, and it's all my fault. I knew it. I knew I should've listened to Jumin! Why did I ever think that I knew better what she truly needed...? She must've suffered so much... And I couldn't do anything for her, I couldn't save her...!"

Chaewon felt a terrible chill run down her spine as she held the phone up to her ear nimbly. Rika's voice sounded so utterly broken and anguished that she could practically feel her dear friend's breath getting caught in her throat as she stumbled over her words in hysterics. A heavy lump of dread suddenly blocked her airways, taking her voice away from her. She felt her entire body freezing up completely as all that she could do in the moment was just stand there, not knowing what to do or what to say.

Sally meant everything to Rika. Chaewon understood that Sally was not just a beloved dog, she was much more than that. Before herself, RFA, or even Jihyun, Sally was Rika's loyal companion and first source of comfort when she needed it most. She knew that much from the many conversations her and Rika had shared. To lose someone like that... in such a horrendous and abrupt way nonetheless...

Oh God, she was starting to get really scared for Rika now. Who knew what she would do in such a vulnerable state of mind?

She clenched her free hand into a tight fist, her fingernails digging into the skin of her palm, until she had to hold herself back from wincing. At the very least, this enabled her to keep her head above water and avoid complete freeze-up. Swallowing down the lump in her throat, she pushed through the paralyzing unease snaking its invisible tendrils around her body and mind, and spoke up, sounding uncharacteristically stuttery and high-pitched for her usual tone of voice. She would feel embarrassed about it, if not for the horrible situation at hand keeping all of her focus away.

"...Rika, listen to me, just- stay on the phone with me, alright? Are you at home? I'm coming right over. Just- Hold on for me, okay? I... I'll be right there. It'll be okay. I promise," Chaewon muttered hurriedly into the phone as she sprinted off from the supply closet she had tucked herself into to take this call as fast as her legs could carry her. Her heart was pounding in her chest with so much force, she was afraid it might just stop beating altogether. And, she couldn't allow that. Not right now. The words she spoke sounded extremely foolish. Of course it won't be okay. It won't ever be okay. But, she didn't know what else to say. She needed time to think, but she didn't have that luxury right now.

So, she ran.

Everything else was lost in the haze of panic, confusion, and frustration. It was probably incredibly reckless and irresponsible of her to just abandon her nursing post like this, especially right at the beginning of her night shift. But she barely gave a single thought about that right now, however selfish it was on her part. Nothing was more important than getting to Rika's side as fast as humanely possible. Before something bad could happen. Before she becomes even more afflicted than she already is, in any way or another. Chaewon was always a self-centered person, in the end. She accepted that. But Rika... Rika gave so much of herself away in order to help others, to make people smile, to give them hope for a better future.

Rika was not even comparable to Chaewon, and consequently, she did not deserve to experience such a terrible loss alone.

It was truly a miracle that she didn't get hit on her way there. Her driving was extremely erratic and dangerous. She won't be at all surprised to find a notification about a fine or two for exceeding the speed limit once this all blows over. Even if she knew, deep down, that it won't. And that was scary to think about. She told herself that she was just panicking, and that's why this harrowing feeling was scratching at her insides like a caged wild animal. The feeling of something going horribly wrong. The feeling of things collapsing and never being the same again.

Chaewon ignored it.

She was able to reach Jihyun's secluded home safely and with her car intact, thanks to pure luck. Feeling relieved wasn't possible for her, however. None of it truly mattered once she saw Rika's small trembling frame sitting all alone at the front porch, her head tucked tightly into her knees, almost like she was trying to curl herself up into the tiniest human ball imaginable. It looked painful. Chaewon was sure her back must have hurt from staying in such an unnatural position. How long had she even been like that? Seeing Rika like this broke her heart. Usually, she'd get greeted by cheerful barking and her friend's soft giggling, as she stepped through the front gate to usher her inside for a cup of fresh pomegranate tea. Now, Chaewon heard nothing but the heartbreaking sounds of hoarse sobs and labored breathing. It all felt like a big, horrible nightmare she would wake up from any minute now. Her only wish was to wake up. Oh, how she wished for this to be nothing but a cruel trick of the mind.

However, this was a reality. She had no choice but to confront it head on.

Chaewon rushed towards Rika, clumsily squatting on her knees in front of her on the pavement, her hands stopping only inches from touching her. It didn't matter that her pants were now soiled from the damp ground from the rain. It didn't matter that she accidentally grazed her hand against the edge of the wooden door that hung right open - another thing that was horribly out of place. It was as if the entire world has faded from existence, leaving only her suffering friend and the deafening sound of her own blood pumping in her temples, making it very hard to focus. She was genuinely beginning to suspect that she was on the brink of a panic attack, and she had the urge to curse outloud at the realization. Of all the times she could loose her cool, this one just had to happen.

But... She was scared.

Chaewon was incapable of providing comfort to others. She could treat a nasty-looking physical wound and not bat an eye at the blood and gore, she could fight off a bully just fine, or she come to someone's defense with a strong word or two without a second thought. But... such fragile and emotionally driven ordeals? Rika's forte was always those things. Or Jihyun's, for that matter, as much as she hated to admit that. Yet another reason why that man would always be better than her in one way or another. But, this was not the occasion for her pity party. Rika, she needs her right now. And any comfort would still be better than no comfort at all. At least, she hoped so. She didn't come here for no reason.

Don't worry about it, just do it.

"...Rika? We should-"

She failed to finish her sentence.

"-She's gone forever now, Chaewon, and it's all my fault! I'm never going to see her again. I didn't even... I didn't even get to give her any proper goodbye. She must have died in so much pain, so scared, feeling so betrayed and alone... I can't... I can't handle this. Not without her. Oh, Sally... My Sally..." Rika sobbed, choking on every painful word crawling up from her raw throat, almost like it was her own words tearing at her trachea, rather than the globus sensation that appears during emotionally vexing situations. Some part of Chaewon felt gross that she was applying her medical knowledge even in such an emotional situation. She felt like it was wrong of her. Still, Rika's breathing was growing more and more ragged with every passing second, and she needed to try and fix that. Or, at the very least, mitigate. She was aware that this was bad. This was very bad. She never saw Rika like this before. So vulnerable, so... so hurt.

She tried to tame her voice by swallowing shakily. This isn't good enough. She needed to ask: "Does V-"

Once more, Chaewon was interrupted. She was beginning to believe that she would not be able to achieve anything at this rate.

"-I thought she would be fine on her own. I thought I was doing the right thing... I swear, I-I took my eyes off of her for just a moment! I never imagined... Oh God, I couldn't do anything. Not a single thing!"

"Rika, please, you need to listen to-"

"-I wish... I-I wish it was me who got hit by that car instead! She was so much more deserving of a chance to live! She was good! Not me! I killed her! I... I hate myself. I hate myself for letting her die-!"

"-Rika! Stop it!"

As if she was on impulse, she darted close and tightened her grip on Rika's shoulders, feeling her heart dropping all the way into her stomach at such frightful words. She was experiencing pure panic at this point. Her hands were trembling. Her hands never trembled like this before. What is her responsibility here? What should she say?

Her voice was breaking, every word slipping off her tongue before she could even process them. She couldn't think straight. This was not good. She didn't act rationally whenever she got like this. She would just make everything worse, "Don't you ever say such things again! This is not your fault! These sorts of things happen all the time! Please, you had no play in any of this!"

"How can you even say that!? You weren't there!" Rika shouted back, but it sounded more like a broken wail than an angry scream. Despite everything, Chaewon's heart still hurt, "You don't know how much she suffered, you don't know what pain she was in! If I had just given her that surgery, none of this would have happened!"

Chaewon tried to calm her racing mind by running a hand through her messy black locks, which have gotten damp from the light rain trickling down on them from above. This wasn't good. She was handling this poorly, as expected. She needed to get herself together, think of something, anything. Screaming and arguing won't get her anywhere. This isn't a debate.

"...Sally wouldn't have wanted to see you blaming yourself like this, Rika," in a hushed voice, she murmured, releasing a soft sigh to calm her nerves before continuing, "She was loved by you. More than I've ever seen anyone love their pet before. And you were loved by her, too. You are still loved by her."

The tiny little sound almost that came from Rika as a response almost made Chaewon cry herself, as her friend whimpered. Rika appeared like a small helpless child, feeling scared, lost, and confused after losing something she had never expected to lose. It was absolutely heartwrenching to see.

"...I don't deserve her love. It all feels so empty. Like a part of me was ripped away, and it hurts. It hurts so much, Chaewon. I thought I was used to this pain, but... but it's too much."

She had a desire to have a separate conversation with Rika about that. There was always a part of her that knew there was more to the lighthearted beautiful woman she fell in love with a year ago. Some part of her that felt concerned about all the tiny signs she pretended not to notice, since Rika never brought them up. Some part of her that longed to be the one to ease Rika's wounded heart. But... Wouldn't that be selfish of her? Feeling wanted by someone who had only seen her as a close friend was all she wanted. It wasn't right for her to be greedy. Especially right now. Rika had Jihyun. Jihyun brought her happiness. Jihyun was supposed to make her happy.

Otherwise... what point was there in her just standing by all this time?

Without pause, Chaewon gently stroked the side of Rika's face with her fingers, discovering her skin to be damp and cold. As if the misery she was experiencing on the inside was slowly evolving and transforming what was on the outside to match its cruel image. It hurt her heart to see.

"Please don't say that..." What else could she possibly say? She couldn't bring Sally back. She couldn't ask her not to cry. She was incapable of making it all right. She felt so frustrated and helpless. If only she could take away even the smallest portion of this pain Rika was feeling and redirect it onto herself instead, she would've done so without a second thought.

"I hate this... Why did she have to suffer like this...? Why couldn't she just live a peaceful and happy life? She was good... She was pure. Not like me. What did she ever do to deserve such a horrible death? Why does God always hurt those that are innocent in such cruel ways!?"

Chaewon was uncertain about what to say to that. Rika didn't seem to be listening to her at this point. She just breathed out shakily, pulling herself up to sit beside her and carefully rest her chin atop of Rika's head, once she knew she wouldn't push her away. If only her embrace could protect her from all the pain in this world.

If only it was that simple.

"She's not in pain anymore... I promise," that was all she could muster up, however clumsy it was. In a somewhat awkward embrace, she gently held Rika's small trembling frame close. She did not compel her to release her knees or raise her head. She just wanted to make her feel that she wasn't alone right now. A small sigh escaped her, as she could feel a small damp spot slowly forming in her shirt, where Rika buried her face in, her entire body wracked with painful sobs. She wished their first embrace had not occurred under such heartbreaking circumstances, "...It wasn't your fault."

It might be more effective to be truthful instead of improvising. Rika's head was now being carefully caressed by her, and Chaewon noticed that her normally soft and beautiful golden locks were tangled and rough to the touch. It made her purse her lips tightly in displeasure: "Rika... I want to help you. In any way I can. Please... tell me what should I do. I... I don't know. I need you to tell me."

"J-Just stay. Don't leave. Please," Although Rika's voice was barely audible, she still managed to hear what she was saying. The sensation of her fingers digging into her shoulders was intense, almost to the point of being painful. She didn't care, "I'm scared..."

"Don't be. I'm here. I'm right here," Chaewon mumbled, pulled her friend close, and just let her cry. Maybe there wasn't any need for words right now. She didn't know. She just knew that she wouldn't leave her alone in such a state, "I'll be here for as long as you need me to be."

After an hour had passed, Chaewon heard a car screeching to halt near the front entrance of the house, followed by hurried footsteps. She wasn't at all surprised to see the tall man with messy mint hair once she lifted her head up from where it had loyally remained on Rika's for the past hour. A silent moment of sorrow and mutual understanding passed between the two, nothing but the sound of Jihyun's ragged breaths and the quiet pitter-patter of rain filling the air around them.

It looks like she's not the only one who dropped everything to come as soon as possible.

"...Is she...?"

"I think she fell asleep," Chaewon quietly responded, not even bothering to listen to the entire question. Rika was probably exhausted, both physically and mentally, from the immense stress she had to go through in the past few hours. No wonder she eventually just drifted off to sleep. Perhaps, it was better for her to just not think about anything for a while and sleep.

Jihyun sighed, his hands shaking noticeably while he fumbled with the corners of his jacket. Chaewon felt comforted to know that she wasn't the only one feeling overwhelmed by this situation, in an ironic sense. Finally, he spoke up again, carefully sitting down on the same porch her and Rika were nestled upon, his hand carefully brushing a strand of his fiance's hair behind her ear. There was genuine heartache in his eyes, and she had to look away from the scene dejectedly: "I came as soon as I heard. I... Is she okay? Did she..."

Chaewon believed that his question had a greater significance than simply expressing concern for his lover's well-being. She tried to get rid of that strange thought, but it persisted in the back of her mind, like a parasite slowly extending its tentacles into her mind.

It appeared that he was asking if Rika had done anything. She was unaware of whether that was to herself or someone else. But, it alarmed her nonetheless.

To avoid disturbing her unconscious friend, Chaewon shook her head slightly: "She's alright. I think. Aside from... possible raw throat, tense back and headache, she should be fine. Physically."

She was certain that she would have noticed any wounds right away.

Jihyun sighed with relief, but no joy was present. Chaewon couldn't hold him accountable for it: "Thank you... For being with her when I couldn't. I am... ever so grateful she had you by her side right now."

She felt like screaming when she saw the small smile of gratitude he gave her. Him being genuine was the most unfair aspect of it all. Jihyun was a good and caring man. Although, she had more in common with his friend Jumin, rather than the photographer himself. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't hate him. And her feeling so disgusted with herself was caused by the ugly feelings of jealousy and envy that were eating away at her from the inside. Jihyun considered her a dear friend, and here she was, getting all worked up over him rightfully caring and worrying over his fiance.

It's a shame that she's so selfish.

Chaewon bit the inside of her cheek in a mixture of frustration and pain, feeling the slight taste of copper on her tongue. Right. She was merely a friend. To Jihyun and Rika all the same. A close friend. Nothing more. Jihyun was the one Rika trusted the most. He knew the parts of her that she was never allowed to see.

What's the worst aspect of it all? It's that Jihyun was a better match for Rika, as she was aware. He was kind, gentle, artistic, loving. He was everything that Rika valued in a person. Chaewon's behavior was characterized by bluntness, forcefulness, and practicality. She was incapable of competing with this man for her heart. And did she even want to do that? It's not like she ever tried. She just sat back without doing or saying anything.

It seemed like there was a pattern in her life.

Agh, take a look at yourself. You're too busy feeling sorry for yourself about some stupid crush, even though your friend just lost her beloved companion. Get a grip. Chaewon quickly chastised herself as she tried to redirect her attention back to what was truly important right now, rather than her pitiful lovesickness.

"We should... probably carry her in. You should have her take a warm bath once she wakes up. Or give her a warm beverage. She might get sick after staying out in the rain like this," she mumbled quietly while untangling a few of Rika's golden curls to distract herself from something else. She certainly did not want to imagine Jihyun taking care of Rika like that. But... She wasn't one to be petty. At least not outwardly. She could be petty, angry, and upset all she wanted once she gets home, where her selfish outbursts won't harm anyone.

Jihyun carefully stood up from his spot while nodding: "Yes, you're right. I'll keep in contact with you. She might need her friend by her side once she wakes up."

"...Right."

Her friend. Chaewon prayed that she did not sound too bitter. She wished to avoid being perceived as an asshole. She made sure to help Jihyun carry Rika back into the house, offering a few more tips out of what little she knew. Of course, those were all health-related. Not much she could advise on emotions.

After drinking her stress away for a few hours that night, she sunk into bed with a bad feeling that kept her awake until early morning. A sensation of horror, disgust, and chilliness. The same one that she felt back in her car. It never left. It just faded onto the background. However, it was ever present. Demanding to be listened to. The feeling of things never being the same again. The feeling of something horrible lurking just around the corner. Something that would forever alter everything.

A point of no return. The beginning of the end.

Chaewon ignored it, just like she had done before.

[natasha-in-space]

✧ Masterlist P.2 ✧

P.1

~ Masterlist for ongoing longfics ~

Cmc info sheets:

✽ Natasha Stakh (Saeran's mc)

❦ Chaewon Lee (Rika's mc)

Saeran:

✿ Thoughts on how small Ray truly is;

✿ GE Saeran comforting an overworked reader;

✿ Comforting SE Saeran;

✿ Charmed (butler!SE Saeran/princess!cmc Natasha Stakh);

✿ Suit Saeran is touchstarved;

✿ Soft mornings with GE Saeran;

✿ Small blurb of Suit Saeran pranking Natasha with cake (cmc);

✿ All Good Things Must End (Danger!Ray/gn!reader) CW;

✿ Suit Saeran is jealous;

✿ VAE!Ray brainrot;

✿ Sitting on Unknown's lap

Saeyoung:

☆ Saeyoung with MC who has bad luck following them around wherever they go;

☆ Saeyoung loves to carry his S/O around in his arms;

☆ Take Your Breath Away (Saeyoung/afab!reader) - NSFW;

☆ Longing For You (Saeyoung/gn!reader)

Rika:

✦ Discussing Rika's relationship with Saeran;

✦ Thoughts on Rika as an antagonist;

✦ Chaewon comforting Rika after Ray's escape vignette (cmc/canon piece)

✦ Are Chaewon and Rika an established couple? (cmc/canon ask)

Jaehee:

\̅_̅/̷̚ʾ Small blurb on Jaehee's feelings of attractiveness

Jumin:

ᗢ Discussing Jumin's 2 bad ending;

ᗢ Girl dad Jumin;

ᗢ Small post on Jumin being a very affectionate partner to his MC;

ᗢ Jumin with MC who has to go into therapy for their PTSD;

ᗢ Jumin with MC who is a programmer at his company that starts making their projects all about him

Yoosung:

* Yoosung with a buff male mc headcanons;

* Small blurb about Yoosung and his buff male mc spending a family dinner together;

* 2024 Yoosung birthday CG thoughts

Zen:

⟡ Older brother Zen thoughts;

⟡ Zen with MC who has an invisible disability

Headcanons/multiple characters:

• Yooran drabble

• RFA + Saeran with MC who has bad luck following them around wherever they go;

• RFA boys + Saeran with a male MC;

• RFA + Saeran with MC that looks like Rika;

• Rika/V relationship addendum:

° Rika-centric addition;

° more on V's obsession;

• Self-insert birthday drabble for the Choi twins;

• Thoughts on V's after ending;

• 2024 Choi twins birthday CG's analysis

[natasha-in-space]

✧ Series Masterlist ✧

None of these are abandoned. I am just very slow at updating :D

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ Fractured Heart .𖥔 ݁ ˖(Unknown/cmc Natasha Stakh) - ongoing:

1. Fractured Heart;

2. Nothing but Deception

𓁺 A Wilted Daffodil 𓁺 (Rika/cmc Chaewon Lee) - ongoing:

1. The Beginning of the End;

2. Chain of Memories

𔓘 From the Ashes into the Light 𔓘 (VAE!Ray and VAE!Saeran/cmc Natasha Stakh) - ongoing:

1. Lights;

2. Left to Wonder

[natasha-in-space]

✧ Masterlist ✧

Masterlist gets updated frequently, but do let me know if you can't find something <3

Tumblr limits the amount of links to a singular post, so the masterlist will be split in multiple posts!

P. 2

~ Masterlist of ongoing longfics ~

Saeran:

✿ A Crimson Rose (Suit!Saeran/gn!reader);

✿ Pocket Suit Saeran au (Suit!Saeran/cmc: Natasha Stakh);

✿ Here With You (VAE!Ray/gn!reader);

✿ Vampire!Suit Saeran Drabble (Suit!Saeran/cmc: Natasha Stakh);

✿ A family get-together (GE!Saeran/gn!reader);

✿ From the Ashes into the Light (VAE!Ray and VAE!Saeran/cmc: Natasha Stakh) - series;

✿ Shared Struggle (SE!Saeran/Self Insert) TW;

✿ Fried Food (Unknown/gn!reader);

✿ Saeran's favourite places to kiss his SO;

✿ Saeran having triplets;

✿ Saeran with a SO that is a business analyst;

✿ Saeran with a SO that is an athlete;

✿ Saeran's kid decides to become a hipster;

✿ Giving a gift to Ray;

✿ Unknown with an affectionate and cuddly assistant;

✿ Sweet Beginning (Ray/cmc Lila Lancelot);

✿ GE Saeran celebrating your birthday;

✿ Old Melody Sang Anew (SE!Saeran/cmc Natasha Stakh);

✿ Secluded Waltz (Ray/gn!reader);

✿ Looking at the Stars (Suit!Saeran/cmc Natasha Stakh);

✿ Safe and Sound (GE!Saeran/gn!reader) TW;

✿ Planting flowers with Ray;

✿ Saeran as fairytale and mythical creatures

✿ Fractured Heart (Unknown/cmc Natasha Stakh) - series;

✿ High Enough (Unknown/gn!reader);

✿ GE!Saeran comforting mc that's struggling with abandonment issues;

✿ Show & Tell (Unknown/gn!reader/Zen) CW

Saeyoung:

☆ Mundane Troubles (Saeyoung/gn!reader);

☆ Saeyoung comforting you after failing an exam;

☆ Saeyoung comforting you when you're sick;

☆ Stargazing with Saeyoung;

☆ Saeyoung motivating you to study;

☆ First date with Saeyoung;

☆ Playing with Saeyoung's hair;

☆ Saeyoung with a SO who's a computer programmer;

☆ Saeyoung comforting a SO who's struggling with chronic pain/chronic illness;

☆ Saeyoung celebrating you passing an exam;

☆ Having an argument with Saeyoung;

☆ Saeyoung wishing you a happy birthday as soon as it hits midnight;

☆ Play fighting with Saeyoung;

☆ Confessing to Saeyoung in school (set in canon timeline)

☆ Cruel Miracle (Saeyoung/gn!reader);

☆ Saeyoung with mc who's struggling with social anxiety;

☆ Thoughts on Saeyoung's trauma with the agency;

☆ Bringing a puppy to Saeyoung

Jaehee:

\̅_̅/̷̚ʾ Cookies and Cupcakes (Jaehee/gn!reader);

\̅_̅/̷̚ʾ Christmas Reminiscing (Jaehee/gn!reader);

\̅_̅/̷̚ʾ Dance with Me (Jaehee/gn!reader);

\̅_̅/̷̚ʾ You and Jaehee getting a sphinx kitty who loves her a bit too much

Rika:

✦ A Snowy Play Fight (Rika/gn!reader);

✦ 2022 Rika's birthday CG analysis;

✦ A Wilted Daffodil (Rika/cmc Chaewon Lee) - series;

✦ Overall personal thoughts on Rika and her complexity

Vanderwood:

๑ Vanderwood bonding with the Choi twins drabble;

๑ Vanderwood with a SO who's the opposite of them;

๑ A Playful Afternoon (Vanderwood/gn! reader)

Yoosung:

* Yoosung with a SO that is a pet groomer;

* Yoosung with a blasian SO TW;

* Yoosung's kid turns out to be a major animal-lover;

* Yoosung and mc who has an allergy to dog/cat hair;

* Yoosung's family reaction to his eye injury;

* Discussing how Yoosung and Matsuda from Death Note would be great buddies;

* Meeting Yoosung after knowing him in high school;

* Thoughts on Yoosung going through therapy

Jihyun:

𖤓 Jihyun going through therapy;

𖤓 New Tomorrow (Jihyun/gn!reader);

𖤓 Jihyun with a mc who's similar to him

Jumin:

ᗢ Jumin going through therapy;

ᗢ Jumin with a SO from Daegu;

ᗢ Jumin with a SO who's a famous idol

Zen:

⟡ Zen confessing his love to you;

⟡ Zen with a disabled mc

Headcanons:

Random headcanons that live in my head rent-free;

Cuddling headcanons for the whole mm gang;

Choi twins comforting a SO that is struggling after the death of a loved one TW;

Mystic Messenger gang as Disney Prince's;

Jumin, Jihyun and Rika with a SO that they've met before during their childhood;

RFA + Minor Trio as trainer classes in a Pokemon au;

Mystic Messenger gangs professions in a Stardew Valley au;

Zen and Jaehee comforting their child who is struggling with workaholism;

Yooseven headcanons;

RFA + V and GE!Saeran with a cheerleader SO;

Warrior Cats/Mystic Messenger au brainrot;

Picking up the entire Mystic Messenger gang headcanons;

RFA as fairytale and mythical creatures;

Jumin and Saeran soulmate au drabbles;

RFA + minor trio with a punk mc;

Engagement rings headcanons;

RFA + Saeran with mc who's studying to be a veterinary neurologist;

RFA + V and Saeran making you gingerbread cookies;

Analyzing Yoosung's and Saeran's relationship after Yoosung's good ending;

RFA + Jihyun with the child that grows up to be 'daddy's kid';

MM gang as Sailor Moon characters

Events:

Mysme-fictober 2022

Mystictober 2022

Cmc info-sheets:

✽ Natasha Stakh (Saeran's cmc);

��� Chaewon Lee (Rika's cmc)

[natasha-in-space]

Mysme-fictober Day 6 - Scary Stories

Rika/cmc Chaewon Lee (Reiko)

Uhhh so I'm not sure if this piece actually fits the promt much, cause I got swept away into a completely different direction, but since I was originally writing for it, I'll post it anyway ':D

Mysme-fictober promts belong to @mysme-fictober!

With a heavy sigh, Reiko slowly took a small sip from her china cup, tapping her foot in a somewhat nervous rhythm under the carefully decorated table. The air was fragrant with a fresh smell of grapefruit tea along with an assortment of desserts in all shapes and sizes that were laid out on the neatly packed table.

“Savior, are you sure that holding this party is really a good idea…? It's quite risky to gather all the believers in one hall where practically anything can happen. At least you don't have to be personally involved, right?"

The golden-haired woman sitting across from her merely playfully rolled her eyes at her partner, reaching out across the table to gently tuck a lock of white hair behind her ear. Her touch was as light as a feather, making Reiko involuntary shiver, even from such a fleeting contact.

"Reiko, you don't need to address me so formally when we're behind closed doors, you know that. And nothing will happen. We'll make sure of that." Rika stated, not breaking their eye contact not even for a second. She was confident in her decision, and there was no point in trying to dispute it.

Reiko huffed, crossing her arms across her chest and leaning back into her chair. She was definitely not convinced quite yet. Still, it's not like she could outright forbid her Saviour from doing whatever she wanted to do. While she was much closer to the leader of Mint Eye than most other believers will ever get the chance to experience, that did nothing to change the obvious difference in their statuses. She had to obey Rika, whether she wanted to or not.

Then again, she's just acting paranoid right now, she knew that.

"I just don't get the appeal of this whole 'partying' thing. We can do just fine without it. What if something does happen and we won't be able to act quickly enough? It's hard to monitor the situation in a huge crowd of people." She mumbled, casting her eye to the side and chewing on the inside of her cheek absentmindedly.

Rika pursed her lips, gently cupping the other woman's cheek and caressing it with her thumb to regain her attention.

"You're worried about me, aren't you? I'm flattered. However, trust me when I say that everything will turn out just fine. Even if something does happen, we'll have both you and Ray on standby the whole time. We won't let things get out of control."

Reiko grumbled, albeit leaning into the soft touch and closing her eye for a short fleeting moment. This was a rare gesture coming from her, considering how concerned she was about her surroundings throughout almost every minute of the day. Letting her guard down like that was something she hardly ever did for anyone. "Yeah, that is, if he won't spend the entire time ogling his assistant. Which I am not confident in whatsoever, by the way."

She could hear Rika stifle a brief giggle, which made a wave of ticklish warmth flood her cheeks without any warning beforehand, and she was completely unable to stop this from happening. She hardly ever laughed genuinely at this place, not ever since she became the Savior they all needed. To think that she was the reason for her sincere smile even briefly returning onto her lovely face once more...

It was... nice. Like everything was back to how it was once before. Like she was... happy. However, that selfish thought was merely a fleeting mirage, one that Reiko quickly brushed away without even thinking twice about it. She couldn't allow herself to think like Chaewon once did. At least, not inside the tall walls of Magenta... She was Reiko now, and she needed to act accordingly.

A gentle honey-like voice reached her ears through the fog of her grim thoughts, making her involuntary tune in with all of her senses. Rika always did have this effect on her... Some things just never change.

"Oh come now, my dear Reiko. As long as he stays loyal to our cause, and to me, there's nothing bad about being infatuated with someone. Natasha is quite a beauty, after all. But, while her beauty is charming, she has no power over him. She's too softhearted to act with enough force needed to bend him to her wishes. She'll keep to the shadows, too afraid to claim something as her own. That's the crack of her dilemma. She longs for something oh so desperately, yet lacks the courage needed to achieve it. She's perfect for Ray."

A somewhat ominous silence suddenly hung between them, as the hidden implications of Rika's words seeped into the previously tranquil atmosphere. They both knew exactly what she was talking about in gruesome detail. Still, this tense moment passed swiftly, as the blonde woman smiled once more and lifted the small cup filled with warm grapefruit tea to her lips with pristine elegance in her smooth movements. Reiko couldn't help but watch her every move, captivated by her almost otherworldly beauty.

Placing the cup onto her plate once more, the Savoir placed her chin on the palm of her hand. "Speaking of which, what will you be wearing to our upcoming Halloween ball?"

Reiko shifted in her seat uncomfortably, suddenly feeling a bit embarrassed to admit her weakness out loud. But, with how intently Rika was gazing seemingly into her very soul, it'll be practically impossible to hide even the smallest of details from her. She always was an expert at reading people, after all.

So, she gave in, quickly glancing at the ground and praying with all her might that her face did not look like a rotten tomato in its color.

"I... actually never celebrated Halloween before, my Sa- Rika. I'm not even sure what exactly people are supposed to be doing on this date, never mind the clothes."

She heard a soft gasp escape from the petite woman sitting in front of her. "Oh...?"

Reiko groaned internally, fighting the urge to cover her face with both of her palms and instead focusing on counting the lavish patterns on the carpet placed beneath them. Great, now she looks like a complete fool. It's not like she had much time to celebrate any holidays before! And Halloween never was one of them anyway.

Before she could come up with some kind of excuse though, she felt a warm hand place itself onto her chin, gently lifting her face high enough for her to see the troubled expression of Mint Eye's captivating leader once more. There was nowhere to hide for her now. But, she saw no disturbance or glee in the blonde woman's hypnotizing emerald eyes, merely worry. Rika tilted her head to the side, somehow making her already silky voice get even softer. It caused her heart to helplessly clench in her chest and her breath to get caught up in her throat.

"Well, that's nothing to be ashamed about, my old friend. In fact, I'm happy you'll be able to experience this wonderous day with me by your side. I'll make sure you'll enjoy yourself next week. You more than deserve it for all the hard work you provide both for me and our paradise."

Reiko bit her lip with force, putting all of her efforts into not fidgeting in her seat too much. "It's not my job to 'have fun'. I'm supposed to keep you safe, first and foremost."

Her retort sounded puny even to her own ears, making her mentally cringe at her feeble attempt at resistance. She always felt so strong and invincible among other believers... and yet, when it came to her old and dear friend, she was completely helpless, each and every time. This vulnerability both scared and intrigued her in equal part.

After all, there's always a certain thrill accompanying every danger. And this danger felt... electrifying. Rika shook her head, causing her long golden curls to seemingly float around her. She looked almost enthralling.

"You can do two things at once, right? The Reiko I know is a master at multitasking."

Not when you're so distracting to the eye.

She almost choked on her own words. What's wrong with her? She never loses control like this! Instead, she gulped, deciding to change the subject all together in order to avoid any possible dangers ahead. At least, she hoped so. "I'll try. So, what exactly do you do on Halloween then? Except going trick or treating, of course."

Despite her desperate attempts, however, Rika seemed to have caught on to her inner distress. It wasn't often for her to become playful, but it looked like she decided to make an exception for her, just this once.

How lucky for her.

Though, was that a good or a bad thing, Reiko did not quite know yet.

"Hmm, let's see... Well, for example, you tell each other scary stories. It is a night when all of our inner demons can roam free, not having to be afraid of anything from the cruel outside world. What better way to experience the thrilling rush of danger than to listen to a blood-curdling horror story? Are you okay with that, my friend?" Rika hummed, slowly moving away from the stunned woman sitting in front of her and returning her attention to the cup of tea on the table, as if nothing weird has ever happened.

Reiko blinked, eventually starting to come back to her senses once again. Was that a request? Or a challenge? She couldn't really tell...

Well, whatever it was-

She smirked, leaning towards the table with her whole body and raising both of her eyebrows in over-exaggerated excitement.

"Oh, is that all? I can assure you, I can handle a good horror story just fine, but, can you handle those I have in store? I'll make sure to save up the best ones for you, and you only. I hope you'll look forward to it. It'll be just like the old times."

Was she being too forward? She wasn't really sure, where exactly that thin line of what was allowed and what was not layed, but... by the look of surprise on the blonde woman's face, she got exactly what she wanted.

More than anything, she adored the privilege of being able to see those sides of their Savior, that nobody else was allowed to see. It felt... special. Although, Rika quickly regained her composure once more, chuckling under her breath and reaching across the table another time in order to take her hand into her own. Her hands were cold, but... it didn't feel uncomfortable for her. Reiko enjoyed the feeling of her cool skin touching her own.

"Getting bold now, are we? I always loved that about you. Say, why don't we celebrate Halloween early this year? Just you and me. It'll be our own celebration of the beautiful darkness we nourish inside of our souls, hidden from prying eyes of outsiders." Rika whispered enticingly, making shivers go up her spine. Her green eyes seemed to hold a different kind of intensity to them, holding her captive with their inviting promise of something she couldn't quite place her finger on.

Though, Reiko didn't even need to think for long, before her body acted seemingly all on its own, revoking a swift nod from her side.

She no longer cared about the party happening next week. This Halloween was going to be the sweetest she'll ever experience, she was already sure of it.

[natasha-in-space]

Mysme-fictober:

Day 2 - Costumes (Yoosung/gn!reader)

Day 4 - Haunted House (SE!Saeran/gn! reader)

Day 6 - Scary Stories (Rika/cmc Chaewon Lee)